Monday, January 23, 2006

Reflections on Mr T...

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don't have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.

Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Sticks and stones may break your bones but Mr T. will also crush your internal organs.

Rome wasn't built in a day. But if Mr. T had assisted, it sure as hell would've been.

Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Mr. T doesn't obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys him.

Mr. T rejoiced as President George W. Bush was elected to office, as the coming administration would assure that he would never run out of fools to pity.

When Mr. T cuts onions, it's the onions doing the crying.

The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase "We PETA the fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.
Thanks to The Soos for sending through this jibba-jabba!!!

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