I asked the question in the previous post because I experienced a real sense of elation as the project I worked on won an award at our division's annual award ceremony. The award was for "Business Breakthrough" and recognised the project that had the biggest positive impact on the wider (not just Technology) business community within my work. It was, in my opinion, well deserved - we rolled out an organisation-wide intranet for 10,000 people within 9 months.
I was delighted. It was nice to win.
But I was sad too.
Sad because I didn't win the individual award I was shortlisted for. It went to some more deserving.
This kind of joy is a fickle mistress... it gives you a buzz but does not provide enough to last. It is fleeting... momentary... temporary... enough to know its no longer there when it is gone.
Its like praise or the adoration of fans... and like all mistresses... it is addictive. We want and crave for more... and don't appreciate what little we have.
There is a need to cultivate a joy that lasts... to take pleasure in a job-well-done... to find the appreciation of something beyond ourselves... to be grateful for what we have rather than hankering for what we don't.
St Paul says in his letter to the Philipians (4v8)...
"...do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse."Lasting joy comes with the best of all this world can offer... not the worst.
Being recognised by my peers is something worthwhile indeed and something to be proud of... I didn't need to win. I had already won... in a sense. But still I wanted to win. The recognition of the shortlisting wasn't enough. I wanted the trophy. I wanted my time in the spotlight. I wasn't grateful for what I had.
This is the ugly side of competition... the craving for more... the lack of contentment... the inability to feel full... the lack of gratitude.
I can and will move forward by putting this disappointment behind me... and focussing on, and being grateful for, the real and true elements of success - the collective success of the project and the recognition of my individual efforts - this is enough.
In fact, this is more than enough.
I am very grateful.