Sunday, June 15, 2008

Enter the silence

When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way.
Lamentations 3: 28-33 (The Message)

These words from Lamentations bring great strength to me... they provide direction for where I am with regards to my church just now. I am currently off by myself... I have entered the silence (albeit there is the sound of tapping keys on a keyboard or the swish of my pen) and I have stopped asking the kind of critical questions that seek to destroy rather than build up. I sit here waiting...

I have been trying to capture my thoughts/feelings in writing. Examining my thoughts/feelings on what/how church should be... and where the gaps are in my current experience. Once a business analyst... always a business analyst... I suppose... but this gap analysis comes from the heart. The questions come from a desire to build up... to create as well as recreate... to seek to imagine as well as reimagine... to seek to start from scratch as well as seeking to repair & recycle.

Silence is hard for me. Hence why I am capturing a snapshot of my experience here... as a means to break up the silence. The silence of being alone scares me. Don't get me wrong... I know I am not alone... I have a wonderful family who gave me Indiana Jones Top Trumps for Fathers Day... and wonderful friends who call / text / email / tweet / grab coffee with me... and generally keep me busy and distracted (in a good way).

Its not that kind of alone. This is the alone of being open, intimate and vulnerable before God. The silence is necessary so I can hear His voice. No questions... just communion with God:
God, our God!
God the one & only!
Love God, your God with your whole heart:
Love Him with all that's in you,
Love Him with all that you've got!
Deuteronomy 6: 4&5 (The Message)

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