Thursday, November 23, 2006

The scoot

No pictures allowed on this post.

I go into hospital tomorrow for my camera-up-my-bum-and-out-my-nose experience. I am looking forward to it... kind of like a second date.

I'm all for living an experiential life but this is one I would prefer to read about.

So anyway... I flew into Glasgow this morning and had a lovely breakfast on the plane. The cheese, fruit and yogurt was the last I have eaten today... apart from Bovril which Olly thought I should take... Personally I prefer Marmite but it doesn't melt down as well. I am hungry... but happy to be home and kind of glad of the opportunity to detox from the food I have enjoyed in Philly.

Thing is... I need to prepare for tomorrow's experience. A shower, a shave and a wee splash of aftershave isn't enough for this date... the man I am meeting up with is demanding... he wants a big splash! He wants a clean colon!!! This means laxatives... and loads of water / tea etc to keep me hydrated.

All I can say is thank you to the person who invented wi-fi and to Steve Jobs for creating the wonderful iBook. Don't worry I'm not typing this post on the loo... (that was the last post on coffee morning) I am in the wee room in our house that's nearest the loo. Ben Johnson could not beat me in the snap just now... regardless of what he was on... I am presently the fasted man alive!!! Oh and while we are in a thankful mood, I am glad that I subscribe to the baggy bum look - it makes getting my trews down without fussing about the belt a good thing.

If you think this isn't pleasant reading... then brother or sister think about me! This isn't a pleasant experience... but it is an experience I need to learn from. Here's some interesting facts:
Lack of safe water and sanitation is the world’s single largest cause of illness. In 2002, 42 per cent of households had no toilets, and one in six people had no access to safe water.

The toll on children is especially high. About 4,500 children die each day from unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation facilities. Countless others suffer from poor health, diminished productivity and missed opportunities for education.

The young and the old are particularly vulnerable. Over 90 per cent of deaths from diarrhoeal diseases due to unsafe water and sanitation in the developing world occur in children below 5 years old.

The poor are especially hard hit. A child born in Europe or the United States is 520 times less likely to die from diarrhoeal disease than an infant in sub-Saharan Africa, where only 36 per cent of the population can access hygienic sanitation.

I will survive this experience... with a wee bit less pride (which is a good thing)... but there are plenty of others who will die because of the scoot. If this doesn't sober you up as it has me... then what is wrong with your heart? If you don't do something... if I don't do something... who will?


The Salvation Army :: Watershed

Thanks to everyone who has wished me well for tomorrow. Special thanks go to my sister, Janey, for keeping me informed and hydrated... and to Andy W and Innes J for understanding why I can't be in Manchester on Saturday for the Resource sampler day.

I'll be fine... walkin' like John Wayne... and unable to eat at Chocolate Soup...


Anonymous said...

Hope it goes well. Did you get picolax or cleanprep? As the resident family expert in bum/colon area I wish you all the best and say not to worry as it's actually okay. The only thing you need to be concerned about is a Barium Enema. When they suggest this talk to me and I'll fill you in with the truth - mot the theory.

Anonymous said...

To Thomas and cousin Boyd - too much toilet humour!

We do tend to take our health for granted but trust that all goes well in the investigation. We can thank God not only for His goodness but also for dedicated health professionals. Also, be involved in supporting the various agencies trying to help those Thomas mentions in his blog.

Best wishes to you both in this issue.

caldjr said...

Thanks for the detail again Thomas. Hope its all gone well as by the time you read this I guess you'll have been violated in ways you never thought possible. Sorry i never got greetings to you before it - bit behind on blogging and reading!


Anonymous said...

so why the test?


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