Mine is not the wide busy path - I have chosen the narrow, lonely path and I am happy. I am surrounded by love and am grateful for that! Love from my wife and my we'ans, my family and special friends who should be family, and some great people who it is a honour to call "friend".
So why then do I feel disappointed tonight after the once-a-month after hours contemporary worship event? I will always have 25 people there for the right reasons than 250 there for the wrong ones. It was also brilliant to see 3 of the folk from the Alpha course join us and even bring someone new. This is extremely encouraging and I am grateful.
But I still feel low.
My feelings come from a cultural need for numbers... In essence, numbers equal strength and viability. How many folk do Glasgow Rangers get at a home game? Compare that to my team, Motherwell, or even Hamilton Accies... Numbers equates to success.
But this cultural need is failing :: For me. its all about "limited edition" runs and niches... and I am not alone!
Tonight the majority of my church walked out on... and away from... the after hours event. The very people we are aiming for just... left. Even people I consider dear friends didn't stay... didn't feel it important enough to give of their time. After all, they had sacrificed all of 3... maybe 4 hours that day. We feel the need to have a new church building and yet have no desire to fill it!
Why do I bother? And then that's when I realise that its not about those who weren't there - its about those who were. The quality of expression in the 25 who were there was wonderful. Real joy and excitement... and willing participation. Its not often you see people willing to be there and willing to be involved.
And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there.Matthew 18:20 (The Message)
Am I disappointed? Not anymore... Why? Because as this verse states :: its not about numbers...and I dare say, its not about those who, it seems to me, couldn't care less. We are creating a community of people who want to be together to worship God... and that's all that's needed.
I am glad I was involved tonight... Glad I gave up part of my holiday to be there because I am part of something special. I could be like everyone else but I choose to be different...even in my church!
I feel like I have been part of planting a community of faith within my church and that feels good!